Fall

livingspirit3@gmail.com Uncategorized 113 Comments

When I lived in the Highlands, I associated the approach to the autumn equinox with stormy weather and extreme tides. At a human level this year’s UK storms seem to have been focussed around the Pope’s visit, with accompanying rude remarks from everyone from Richard Dawkins to Philip Pullman and… Stephen Hawkin’s new book. On the one hand we are washed by the low tides of child abuse in the Catholic Church and on going papal pronouncements diminishing women, sex, other faiths and even other Chrisitian churches. Meanwhile the opposite tidal pull of anti religion rants from the atheists seems equally unedifying. Where is the equinox in all this one wonders…where is the recognition from either ‘side’ that each has its share of light and dark?

I wonder about this in my own self also, as it continues stormy in my own tea cup of the psyche. I’ve woken repeatedly from vivid nightmares and found that during the day I’m shifting from strong anger to strong feelings of hurt and despair. How to actually cope without resorting to some form of tranquilliser or taking it out on one’s loved ones? In meditation today, it really struck me how hard it is to simply experience pain. It’s much easier to lash out at someone else or distract oneself in some way. But actually what I find my own struggles really need is my own full and careful attention. In between the tangled, endless loops of thoughts, little spaces of breathing and simply feeling open up like quiet, sunny  clearings in a dark wood….my own equinox moments…